If you go to networking meetings to sell, you won’t be interested in this. If you’d like to have fun meeting people, you will.

Fun tip 1. Expose yourself

Step out from behind your business persona and expose the real you! People do business with people they like but how can anyone like you if you just spout a sales pitch? If you want to be remembered as interesting, charming, funny, passionate you need to BE those things. Truly passionate people never have to ‘say’ they are passionate – they demonstrate it in the way they behave.

Fun tip 2. Never ask “What do you do?”

There are a million and one ways to open a conversation and the more you know about a person the easier it is. Before pitching up to an event find out who is going to be there and check them out on line. Then you can start with a ‘real’ question (like WHY they do what they do). If you can break the ice with an on-line conversation before meeting someone face to face (get a good on-line profile picture so that you are recognised) then you’re way ahead of the game.

If you meet a complete stranger, stay personal. Start by paying them a compliment, ask them who is the most interesting person in the room, what are they expecting from the speaker, what is the most interesting thing they’ve heard so far, who do they want to meet. Listen to the answers and have a proper conversation. Don’t jump in with a sales pitch.

Fun tip 3. If someone asks what you do, don’t tell them

Say you haven’t come here to talk about yourself (you haven’t, have you?) and ask them questions about themselves. If they go into a sales pitch, interrupt and ask different questions (its not rude – you didn’t ask to be sold to). Get them away from business and find out who they really are.

Fun tip 4. Be prepared to be dazzled

Everyone you meet is so much more than their business and they are also standing in their own acre of diamonds – their circle of contacts. If you do all the talking there is no chance that you will ever discover who they are. By showing a genuine interest in people and discovering common interests and values rather than trying to sell to them you could find yourself drawn into that circle and who knows where that might lead.

Fun tip 5. Make people feel comfortable

When you are completely comfortable with yourself you stop thinking about you and give 100% of your attention to others. This makes people feel special and they relax. If its all about you it’ll never work. People mimick our posture and facial expressions so if you are relaxed and having fun, they will be too and they’ll always be happy to be around you.

See related post  “Seductive networking”

What do you think? Will you abandon your elevator pitch and expose the real you?

Seductive Networking by Adam Hawkins anodizeproductions.com

This post is from http://annhawkins.com

“Be seductive” the man said. “Use your voice, your eyes, your body to seduce the person you’re talking to. Make them WANT to get to know you better.”

“Most importantly”, he added, “Remember, it’s not about YOU! To be interesting you need to be more interested in the person you’re talking to than in yourself.”

“THE man” was @SteveTrister and if you haven’t seen him perform, you’re missing out big time.

Steve was entertaining a bunch of business owners and at the same time giving them invaluable tips on how to get the best out of the networking experience. His performance was brilliant; full of really funny observations about all the ways to alienate people and how to be really engaging and not just spout a tired old elevator pitch.

He put particular emphasis on being aware of the emotions we create in others and how to make real connections. Steve’s performance was great and the interactive session where he got people to practice was lively and seemed to get good results.

And then we went back to networking and the carapace of the seasoned networked slammed firmly back into place. I know habits take more than a few minutes to change but hell’s teeth, even the most unaware person in the room couldn’t have missed the main message:

IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU!

Yet here we were with myopic men peering at chests to read name badges to decide whether (chest notwithstanding) someone was worth talking to, instead of making eye contact and simply saying, “I’m Bill, who are you?”

No attempt at small talk, not even the slightest interest in the person (again, chest notwithstanding), only in the business they run.

If “What do you do?” was banned from the vocabulary, most serial networkers would be struck dumb.

Well pardon me folks, but I am more than my business. If I start a conversation with “I like your tie / necklace / hair colour / codpiece” or “What’s the wine / canapés / cocaine like?” I don’t expect the response to be “What do you do?” followed by (and usually without pausing for breath), a lengthy description about your business.

I’m looking for banter, rapport, a bit of fun, an exchange of ideas.

If I just wanted to know what business people are in I can get that from the attendance list. The reason for going to networking meetings must surely to meet the PEOPLE not the businesses, to discover if they’re funny, quirky, boring or obnoxious.

I WANT to be seduced but it seems like there’s fat chance of that ever happening.

Be honest now, how many times have you come away from a networking meeting having been totally fascinated and charmed by someone, irrespective of whether their business is of any interest to you?

Which is a shame because I’m sure in ‘real life’ most networkers are charming and fascinating and they know equally charming and fascinating people but we’re all missing out on those extended connections because we never get further than “What do you do?”. No one has a real conversation because they’re too busy looking over each other shoulders to see who they’re missing.

Whoever invented the term “Working the room” should be sent to networking purgatory. You won’t find Steve Trister there – he’ll be too busy having fun and making people laugh!

Find Steve Trister at http://www.stevetrister.com

If you want to learn how to give a high impact, influential and memorable message every time you speak, take a look here: http://www.performancedynamite.co.uk/

and catch Steve in Cambridge on 15th December!

Interestingly, Twitter seems to amplify  the habits that people display in other networking arenas. Before I follow someone on Twitter I check out their tweet stream to see if they sound interesting, if they interact with others and have a bit of fun. If they just broadcast endless one-way messages, and especially use repetitive auto tweets  I generally don’t follow them.  Auto tweeting is like sending a recording to a party and expecting to pull! If networkers displayed their Twitter name on their contact details it would make networking much easier – there’s no where for the boring, self important types to hide!

What do you think? Am I expecting too much? Are we people first and businesses second? What would happen if, instead of asking “What do you do?”, we asked each other “Who are you and what are you interested in?” Are YOU a seductive networker? Tell me below ……