December 15th 2010 – Party Time!

Stop Living Down No-Hoper Street – Join us in Sucksessville!

Guru John Popolini and his minder and Super Agent Steve Trister will show us all how to have a sucksessful life!

For those adoring fans out there, here is a picture of the man himself. If you touch the screen you will fill his wisdom, inside, teachings and wallet.

Guru John owes his sucksess to Steve (or is it the other way round?) and when Steve isn’t organising Guru John’s worldwide tours he runs Performance Dynamite and his own acting career.

One of them, or maybe both, will auction donated prizes for the Cambridge Cancer Help Centre while you have fun, listen to music, eat, drink and network (this has to be done according to Guru John’s rules!)

Guru John will award a special prize to the winner of the Party Hat Competition!

Book your ticket here >>>

If you are interested in sponsoring this event or advertising your business please contact Ann Hawkins

Date: Wednesday December 15th 2010

Time: 18.30 – 21.30

Venue: Cambridge Cancer Help Centre

Scotsdales Garden Centre

Great Shelford

Cambridge  CB2 5JT

Seductive Networking by Adam Hawkins anodizeproductions.com

This post is from http://annhawkins.com

“Be seductive” the man said. “Use your voice, your eyes, your body to seduce the person you’re talking to. Make them WANT to get to know you better.”

“Most importantly”, he added, “Remember, it’s not about YOU! To be interesting you need to be more interested in the person you’re talking to than in yourself.”

“THE man” was @SteveTrister and if you haven’t seen him perform, you’re missing out big time.

Steve was entertaining a bunch of business owners and at the same time giving them invaluable tips on how to get the best out of the networking experience. His performance was brilliant; full of really funny observations about all the ways to alienate people and how to be really engaging and not just spout a tired old elevator pitch.

He put particular emphasis on being aware of the emotions we create in others and how to make real connections. Steve’s performance was great and the interactive session where he got people to practice was lively and seemed to get good results.

And then we went back to networking and the carapace of the seasoned networked slammed firmly back into place. I know habits take more than a few minutes to change but hell’s teeth, even the most unaware person in the room couldn’t have missed the main message:

IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU!

Yet here we were with myopic men peering at chests to read name badges to decide whether (chest notwithstanding) someone was worth talking to, instead of making eye contact and simply saying, “I’m Bill, who are you?”

No attempt at small talk, not even the slightest interest in the person (again, chest notwithstanding), only in the business they run.

If “What do you do?” was banned from the vocabulary, most serial networkers would be struck dumb.

Well pardon me folks, but I am more than my business. If I start a conversation with “I like your tie / necklace / hair colour / codpiece” or “What’s the wine / canapés / cocaine like?” I don’t expect the response to be “What do you do?” followed by (and usually without pausing for breath), a lengthy description about your business.

I’m looking for banter, rapport, a bit of fun, an exchange of ideas.

If I just wanted to know what business people are in I can get that from the attendance list. The reason for going to networking meetings must surely to meet the PEOPLE not the businesses, to discover if they’re funny, quirky, boring or obnoxious.

I WANT to be seduced but it seems like there’s fat chance of that ever happening.

Be honest now, how many times have you come away from a networking meeting having been totally fascinated and charmed by someone, irrespective of whether their business is of any interest to you?

Which is a shame because I’m sure in ‘real life’ most networkers are charming and fascinating and they know equally charming and fascinating people but we’re all missing out on those extended connections because we never get further than “What do you do?”. No one has a real conversation because they’re too busy looking over each other shoulders to see who they’re missing.

Whoever invented the term “Working the room” should be sent to networking purgatory. You won’t find Steve Trister there – he’ll be too busy having fun and making people laugh!

Find Steve Trister at http://www.stevetrister.com

If you want to learn how to give a high impact, influential and memorable message every time you speak, take a look here: http://www.performancedynamite.co.uk/

and catch Steve in Cambridge on 15th December!

Interestingly, Twitter seems to amplify  the habits that people display in other networking arenas. Before I follow someone on Twitter I check out their tweet stream to see if they sound interesting, if they interact with others and have a bit of fun. If they just broadcast endless one-way messages, and especially use repetitive auto tweets  I generally don’t follow them.  Auto tweeting is like sending a recording to a party and expecting to pull! If networkers displayed their Twitter name on their contact details it would make networking much easier – there’s no where for the boring, self important types to hide!

What do you think? Am I expecting too much? Are we people first and businesses second? What would happen if, instead of asking “What do you do?”, we asked each other “Who are you and what are you interested in?” Are YOU a seductive networker? Tell me below ……

Why are first impressions important?

When you walk into a networking meeting what messages are you giving out to other people and what judgements are you making about them?

However much we say we are going to keep an open mind, it’s impossible to do that in the first few seconds of meeting someone.

We all make snap judgements based on the tiniest amount of information. We may be able to put those to one side and open our minds later but because the first judgement we make is an unconscious one, we’re often not aware of it at all so it’s really difficult to take it apart and analyse it later.

This means that we erect barriers between us and other people without even being aware of them. What’s worse is that, because of the way our minds work, if we do become aware of them, instead of telling ourselves it’s ridiculous to dislike or distrust someone based on a snap judgement; we look for reasons to justify those feelings. (For more on this read Malcolm Gladwell’s fabulous book, Blink)

How many potentially really great relationships never get a second chance? Making judgements without being consciously aware of them means that we may just get a feeling that we don’t like someone, or worse, that someone doesn’t like us so we tend to avoid that person in future and very rarely get a chance to revise our first impressions.

What are first impressions based on?

There is a set of statistics which are quoted in every book and article on First Impressions I’ve ever read. They come from Albert Mehrabian’s communication work in the 1970’s and are explained in his 1981 published book “Silent Messages”. They are probably the most abused set of statistics in general use, misquoted in all sorts of situations so here is what Mehrabian has to say about them:

“Please note that this and other equations regarding relative importance of verbal and nonverbal messages were derived from experiments dealing with communications of feelings and attitudes (i.e., like-dislike). Unless a communicator is talking about their feelings or attitudes, these equations are not applicable.”

The findings are that Total Liking is made up of 7% Verbal Liking + 38% Vocal Liking + 55% Facial Liking.

See http://www.kaaj.com/psych/smorder.html and http://www.kaaj.com/psych for more details on Mehrabian

So in the first few seconds of meeting someone we decide whether or not we like them based mostly on how their face, tone of voice and words appeal to us. If the words and the tone of voice are not giving us the same message e.g, “I’m pleased to meet you”, said in sarcastic tone, we check out the facial expression to see what is really meant. What Mehrabian’s study shows that where there is ambiguity we are more likely to trust the facial expression to get the idea of what is being communicated.

I’ve seen people walk into a networking group looking friendly, hopeful, wary, anxious, aloof and even bored or angry and I know I react to their expressions but I usually wonder what is going on in their heads too.

If you are one of the people who finds it hard to walk into a room full of strangers looking relaxed and open stop worrying about your elevator pitch or what you’re wearing. Get your smile right and most of the rest will follow.

Most of us are just like the iceberg. When we look below the surface its amazing what we find.

This post was written by Ann Hawkins http://theinspiredgroup.com More posts on First Impressions will follow.

…. and to all the sponsors, donors and helpers (you’ll find them all on the pages of this blog)

Video clips from Phil Begnett www.wtvmedia.co.uk http://www.youtube.com/philwtv#p/u/3/mEvvFkwPs-E

Photos from Adam Hawkins www.anodizeproductions.com http://www.flickr.com/photos/annhawkins/sets/72157622896549547/show/

Here are a few of the comments from attendees:

Thank you for making last night such a success. From experience I know how much effort goes into events like this, so can appreciate all the hard work that went on ‘behind the scenes’. Simon Brooks www.contacts4business.com

A big thank you for putting on last night’s event. Great Fun, great contacts and I am sure you will be very proud of the value you brought to the Cambridge business community. It was a real success. Should you do the same next year! Bill Nelson and Graham Reading www.cmrworld.com

Thank you for a fabulous evening. Great company, great food and a lovely atmosphere – what more could a girl ask for! Please pass on my thanks to all those involved. Sue Isaacson www.thehrdept.co.uk

Thank you for the party – it was a great night and a brilliant atmosphere! It was good to meet people too that I hadn’t seen for a long time. Pauline Creek www.cambridgeaccounts.co.uk

What a fantastic event. Lots of cambridge women there I was pleased to note but I think there will definitely be some new attendees in the new year. Thanks so much for all your hard work in organising this, went with a bang! Jane Horwood www.cambridgewomen.co.uk

Wow Ann, a brilliant evening with lovely friends and wonderful entertainment. Thank You QTMervyn via Twitter

Thank you for arranging such a great event last night. My voice sounds like yours did last night, today. DaveAllan72 via Twitter

Awesome night at the Christmas networking party!#TCN PVE67 via Twitter

Well done for #tcn. Great event TheAndyIrvine via Twitter

Many thanks. Great night – the most fun I’ve had networking in years. Asapce2b via Twitter

Many thanks for the party last night & for the opportunity to network & help raise money for such a good cause. DibsFlinders via Twitter

RT @Emma_Fryer @AnnHawkins @MisterCrispy @ReaderRoz Fab #TCNevent last night Thanks to all involved. Great event < — Here, Here BombshellAcad via Twitter

Fab event last night Thanks to all involved. Clearly lots of hard work went into this great event Emma_Fryer via Twitter  PS @Lindsay_Abbott great performances last night at #TCN

Thank you for organising a great evening, it was fun… UpShotMedia via Twitter

Big thank you to all people that helped at last night’s #tcn it’s always more a gathering of friends than a networking event MaxGaet via Twitter

Thnxs to all the  helpers for #TCN party last nightand special thanks to @mistercrispy for the great Burmese food MoiraUpton via Twitter

Many thks for excellent network party last night NigelWathen viaTwitter

Lovely to meet you tonight at#tcn very much enjoyed it.. good show put on by all  YourfirstPA via Twitter

Lovely 2 C so many tweets from ppl who met up 4 1st time 2nite. As usual I dnt get 2 talk 2 half the ppl there! #TCN Lindsay_Abbott via Twitter

Excellent night #TCN Congrats@AnnHawkins @MisterCrispy and team on a super evening avonfin via Twitter

Great to meet @IanMcKendrick@AnnHawkins @ToniHunter@ChrisWebplus @bartercardgary@avonfin to name a few at #tcn tonite. Merry Xmas all click4causes via Twitter

RT @kristidunlap Great time at #TCN, lovely to see so many of you there! Thx@AnnHawkins and all the other helpers! // ditto! NatFinnigan via Twitter

Great time at #TCN, lovely to see so many of you there! Thx @AnnHawkins and all the other helpers! KristiDunlap via Twitter

A great night at #tcn good to see so many friendly and familiar faces, well done. SimonLaskey via Twitter

Just to say a huge thank you for all your efforts both in putting the event together and in the running of it this evening. Everyone I spoke to thought the evening a great success and something which would be good to do again. John Gibson Giddings Lane Will consultancy

Just a quick message Ann to say thank you and everyone who organised and contributed to last night’s bash, a very big thankyou from me, it was a great event! Joanna Holding www.wearmyhair.com

Thanks for a nice evening. Whoever did the food well done. Clare Driver www.domesticblissappointments.co.uk

December 16th Event

This event started out as a little idea and has grown into a big event with over 200 people enthusiastically supporting it!

It is a clasic example of how setting out to create a win-win situation can blossom to benefit a huge number of people. Please read the pages for all the people who are making the event happen as sponsors, volunteers and donatators of prizes.

STOP PRESS: To cope with the number of people who want to come have had to move to a BIGGER venue: The Cambridge Cancer Care Centre in The David Rayner Building at Scotsdales Garden Centre, 120 Cambridge Road, Great Shelford, Cambridge, CB22 5JT

Time: 6.30pm – 10.00pm Cash bar (no credit cards!)

Please help to spread the word – not everyone has seen the email about this!

Use your ticket to get a discount at Scotsdale’s Garden Centre from 5pm on the night or on Thurs 17th &  Fri 18th Dec

The premier networking organisations in Cambridgeshire would like to say “thank you” for your support throughout  the year and invite you to a joint celebration where you can have fun making new contacts for your business.

The Very Early Lunch Club (Best of Cambridge), Business for Breakfast, The Business Club Cambridge, Cambridge Women, Cambourne Network, The Womens Business Clubs, O4RB, ABC Advantage BT Tradespace and The Inspired Group are sponsoring this event. The Cambridge Business Breakfast Club has just joined in and there’s room for more! If you run a Business Networking organisation and you’d like to present your offering to over 200 networkers at this fantastic event just get in touch

These organisations all offer very different ways of networking and would like to give you the opportunity to extend your personal network by getting to know people from other networks that you may not usually meet.

The event is free of charge and oversubscribed so if you’d like to go on the waiting list, please email me. If you are registered and can’t come, please let me know asap. ‘No shows’ will be invoiced for £10 to cover the cost of catering.

Food and drinks will be provided and music and goody bags will add to the party atmosphere.

Bring your own party hat!